Why is it so hard....

[kews]

Why is it so hard to make connections friends in real life? I was never one to be the most sought after in high school, but I was always active and busy, never really liked to be alone.

Once I married that seemed to change and I never really had any friends and to this day no matter where I have lived it has been that way. I have no girl friends to go out with, no one really to talk to and those I do have are mainly online, or have moved away.

So why is it hard to make connections? Are people really that busy that they can not add one more person into their life?

I have tried to get to know people, joined small groups, done the inviting, but it seems that either no one reciprocates or they just say no, and I always am left sitting on the sidelines.

[Jennifer]

Kirsten, I know how you feel! I had several best friends in high school, but then we graduated and some went to college and we lost touch or the ones who didn't move away with we lost touch because of the change of direction our lives took. I mean I got engaged right after HS, my DH, boyfriend then moved out together, we still hung out with some friends then, but then we got married 2 yrs after HS, got pregnant 3 months after getting married had our baby and then the friends we had were still into the drinking/hanging out stuff and wanted nothing to do with newborns and family life and we pretty much lost touch with all old friends we had.

Being a SAHM it is also MUCH harder to make friends! I know when i worked I had a bunch but none I really was super close to and kept in touch with!

[kews]

That is it almost to a T. I am jealous that Dh has a few close friends that he can talk with (one is right here, another a few hours away) and he is happy with that many friends. But I have no one that I can talk to and to really talk they also need to share their lives.

Honestly with moving back I thought I might get together with some old friends, but not one has even responded to my suggestions and then with all the health issues I have had (which anyone on FB knows about) no one seems to care, but if they post something I am right there commenting/praying/offering help. I just don't know how to change things.

Even working I never had good friends, unless they were guys. I seem to always get along with guys better, but being married I try to avoid that, just not appropriate

[Jennifer]

It's funny you mention that, about being friends with the other sex and saying it's not appropriate to be doing that anymore. My DH calls me today (he was at work) and said he was getting ready to go to lunch, I asked whom with and he said Jarva, this lady at work. Now this lady tags along with him and his guy friends to lunch often and i know that but he has never told me he goes alone with her to lunch! maybe I am being ridiculous but this has really bothered me today, that my DH goes out to eat with this lady more than he does his own wife! I don't know why I feel this way but i do, I mean honestly I would not go out to eat with men every day at lunch, I mean your right it's just not appropriate! Am I being stupid for feeling like this, I am upset about it...


I just so wish I had some of my online friends near me IRL so often

[kews]

It would bother me too if Dh was always going out with a woman from work, in a group setting I have no problem, but alone.... Dh did this while he worked a job, but always checked with me before hand and I never had an issue. I actually knew the woman and it was funny cause we would joke around, but I knew that DH was in no way intersted in her. But if he was always spending $$ on going out with her and never me, yeah an issue.

hmm sure instead of moving to the new house you don't want to move up here we could then get Tiff to move here as well. We have an awesome church here too (you can actually "visit" them online on Sundays)

[Jennifer]

I mean he says he has 3 friends at work lol, 2 guys and her. I don't know maybe I am being ridiculous about it all but it does bother me, I guess because we never get that 'go out to eat alone' time and here he is going out to eat at lunch with another woman more than me. It's only because he is at work, they don't go out to eat whe they aren't at work but still.

[kews]

I understand Jennifer. Maybe you could ask him if you could have a lunch date, even if it is with kids and McDonald's. I used to do that with DH (though he was managing McDonald's so was not much of a lunch for him)