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Post by kews on Feb 5, 2011 21:20:13 GMT -6
I agree it was a blurr, especially having 3 kids in 3 years (I was 19,21, 22). I also feel that I got cheated with Emily (I love her dearly and would not give her up for the world), with all her medical issues from birth I never got that bringing home the baby, or all those first things, they all kinda fell to the wayside with everything else. It was so much stress for the first 8 months and the first 3 were almost totally in the hospital.
And Jen, we know now to savor every minute of that baby smell, to take more pictures and to worry less/enjoy more.
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Post by Jennifer on Feb 5, 2011 21:34:03 GMT -6
There are so many things I want to do that I never got to do. I was so unorganized and never took the monthly pregnancy pics (took some but not faithfully), I always wanted to get a belly cast, so many things i want to do, if we ever get the chance! I also want to scrapbook every moment!!!
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Post by kews on Feb 5, 2011 21:36:52 GMT -6
I want a belly cast too!! I tried to get one with Em, but I could not find anyone to do one, now they have kits you can buy online and do at home. You can even send the cast to be finished professionally. I never did any pregnancy pics at all I may have one or 2 pics pregnant, but none of the belly. I also want to get a 3d ultra sound pic. IF I ever get friends/connected I want a babyshower. With DS I had mainly my mothers friends there (plus it was the day of a major snow storm), and because I had the kids so close, no one felt the need to have a shower for them.
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Post by Jennifer on Feb 5, 2011 22:03:45 GMT -6
Oooh yes I want a 3D ultrasound too. I don't know if they did not do them 5 yrs ago but i was not offered one ever! About baby stuff, we have like NOTHING left! After the V we got rid of everything, so if we ever get our BFP this will be like starting over but I highly doubt family would give me a babyshower. We had one with my first DS ad that was it. We could def use a babyshower again but like I said family was one of the main reasons we got the V so i don't see them even being all that happy about a BFP if we get one But guess what, IT'S OUR LIFE AND I DON'T CARE! lol! I have to feel that way cause the last time I cared about what family thought and was pushed around with them my DH lost his wonderful fertility!!!!!
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Post by kews on Feb 5, 2011 22:07:27 GMT -6
We also have not one baby item! But I look foward to being able to buy all that stuff again. I will craiglist some of it and some of it new. My Dh's family will be thrilled, but little help as they have no money. My family will probably not be thrilled, but will end up spoiling the baby (and me by default). I hate the DH and I were like rabbits at one point, he looked at me and I had a baby bump. With DS it was the first month we tried, with the miscarriage- first month we tried, with ODD first month we tried, with ectopic we were not even trying but doing rhythm method and with YDD we had a condom with a hole in it!! How much more fertile could we be? and now we are in our 4th cycle
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mandy
Full Member
aka drybottoms
Posts: 136
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Post by mandy on Feb 5, 2011 23:04:51 GMT -6
Jenn, I understand what youre saying. There are a few girls on my fb who have found out they were pg right as we were getting ready for our VR. I am happy for them but deep down it stings a little. My baby is 3 now and the 'baby' is definitely growing up. Soon we will have to put his crib away (yes he is still in his crib) and buy him a big boy bed. I AM NOT READY. I still have the highchair out in the kitchen too. We havent used it in forever! I just dont have it in me to put it away.
Its ok to feel down about this and I know it sucks. I hope so much all of us get a BFP soon. What a great party that will be!
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Post by Jennifer on Feb 5, 2011 23:06:50 GMT -6
We have a lot in comment, same here, all dh had to do is look at me and I was pregnant, ahhh I miss those day now We only tried for our first two, it took 2m to get pregnant with #1 and 1 months to get pregnant with #2, the rest were surprises, but I mean i wasn't on BC so it wasn't that big of a surprise and we were happy about all of them I could NOT take birth control after babies. I took it from the time i was 16 til 20 before we got married but my body changed after I had kids and I could no longer take BC made me so sick!
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Post by carrie1013 on Feb 5, 2011 23:23:21 GMT -6
Wow, this thread just totally sums me up as well! I am pmsing so my emotions are all over the place and having the same feelings Jen! 2 pregnant gals at work and one that plans on getting pg this summer, so it is everywhere! No one in my family understands because they all think we should be done--hence the V! We were so stupid to listen to my parents and my pushy dr. who I found out after the fact that he thinks it is irresponsible to have more than 2! So Kirsten I totally know what you are feeling!
I was freaking out early because I can barely remember my daughter as an infant, it went so fast. I remember worrying about school, money stresses and fixing up our house more than I do her firsts. It makes me cry.
When you are young (20's) you just do not fully understand how precious that time is.
I wish I would have checked in earlier tonight! I would have felt so much better. I too feel guilty, like I should be just grateful for my 3 healthy babies I have but I can't escape the nagging need for more.
Thanks Jen for posting this and everyone else for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It is nice to know I am not the only person who feels this way.
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Post by Jennifer on Feb 5, 2011 23:34:24 GMT -6
Mandy I missed your post, I think we posted at the same time. We just put my sons high chair up, he had not used it for a year and i just couldn't put it away but broke down and did. Oh and when we took the crib apart and away i was in tears!!! Carrie, I often get so sad and cry when I have a hard time remembering my kids firsts The older they get the harder it gets too!! I also don't want to be insensitive to those who are TTC #1 so please excuse my emotions tonight, I know we all are going through our own emotions and are at different places in this TTC journey, I'm sorry if I am seeming selfish.
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Post by carrie1013 on Feb 5, 2011 23:58:52 GMT -6
I just finished reading the 2nd page.
I agree with all of the new tech stuff--3d/4d ultrasounds
I love my mom but she is very controlling and she is the reason I never BF and ended up in this situation, but then again I never got to pick out my own wedding dress (she only would pay for the one she liked, it wasn't an ugly dress actually quite pretty, just not me). She also planned our nursery, we did not have very much money and this was the first grandchild so I was grateful that it was cute and all coordinated, but again not what I would have picked if finances were not strapped. I sound like a spoiled brat, but there is no compromising with her. If she doesn't like your idea she makes sure you know how dumb the idea is and why hers is perfect or the best. When I was reconsidering having DH have the V she freaked out at me and said well when you end up dead and you children have no mommy I guess you'll be happy. SHe would make comments about having baby after baby as being disgusting or BFing moms as brood cows. She can be really awful and I really think it is in part because she was never able to make her own decisions. She is obsesses with holistic stuff so her anger about BFing is probably her own regret and if I were to do it then suddenly what she did would be wrong. She is very insecure.
I do understand the dress thing and the nursery thing, it is because she was only 17 when she got married and then got pregnant with me and had me when she was 18, needless to say money was very tight for them and she never go to choose anything for herself either. Her mother was also very controlling of her, so I vow to break the pattern. I will not do this to my daughter.
I want the thrill of designing and buying everything I want for the nursery and baby if I am so blessed. I am excited to be able to buy all new stuff and not the low end quality stuff either, if I am so blessed. I want to breastfeed, or at least give it a try!
If I get to have another baby, the one thing that will be extremely difficult will be having to use daycare as financially I cannot really be a SAHM, which would be awesome, but our student loans are atrocious. Being a teacher is as close as I can come.
I want to do the weekly belly photos too! Why I never thought about that with my last one...?? So many thing I want to do and do differently.
One funny thing, since our first 2 were g and b, my parents were adamant that we were done. despite me telling them I wanted one more mom kept saying why (with a look of absolute repulsion on her face, again like I was an idiot). We got pg with number 3 and she was so mad and I was so happy that it ticked her off it was the first time I had deliberately disobeyed and went against her orders and it felt so good! The ironic part came when my baby was born and soon we discovered he so resembled my mom and has an ornery streak just like her. She adores him I have subtly let her know that if we had listened to her she wouldn't have her Mr. Man mini-me.
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Post by carrie1013 on Feb 6, 2011 0:06:52 GMT -6
Jen, I do not think it is insensitive it is just a different outlook and experiences. All of the people on here have a commonality and that is the desire to have a baby after a VR and we all are at different stages and can find comfort in the knowledge that is provided, the sense of not being alone and an ability to share with people the very thing that everyone else in our daily lives make us feel abnormal or crazy for thinking or desiring.
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Post by kews on Feb 6, 2011 12:04:34 GMT -6
Carrie- my mother also gave us the "do the V or you will be dead from babies" lecture . I HATE that.
Jen- I cannot do BC either. They have tried like 6 or 7 different ones, including the patch. The last one they tried in 02 I just about passed out from, the others within 30 mins of taking them I was so sick I could not turn my head. I was told to never under any circumstances to take BC again!!
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Post by shell2011 on Feb 6, 2011 15:42:05 GMT -6
Wow! I am amazed by how much we all have in common. There are so many things I would do differently this time around also. I would like to try BFing longer than 6 months. I made the mistake of introducing foods too early (on my mom's advice) so I would change that for sure. I also want to give cloth diapering a try. The older I get, the crunchier I get. I was blessed to get a 3d/4d u/s with ds6 and it is amazing. We still watch the videos and it still just amazes me. We had to pay $200 for it, but it was totally worth it.
Ahhhhh...I want a baby so much!
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Post by Jennifer on Feb 6, 2011 15:58:53 GMT -6
I know Shel, talking about all of the things i want to do gives me more baby fever lol! I would like to learn about cloth diapering as well, have never done it and am a bit intimidated by it. I mean i want to do as natural as possible for my new baby if we are blessed but don't have a clue where to begin with CD'ing!
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Post by shell2011 on Feb 6, 2011 17:22:55 GMT -6
There is so much information on the internet about it almost too much, lol! It looks like cloth diapering has come a long way. It is SO much cheaper and better for the environment.
I am so bad. I was looking at jogging strollers the other day. I told my husband I really like those B.O.B. strollers so we should start saving up our pennies. I have so many things picked out that it's crazy. I haven't purchased anything of course, but I'm already deciding what we'll need. I got rid of EVERYTHING after the youngest was born since we thought we were done. So, like a lot of women on here, we are starting all over again.
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